Ep. 38: Forget SUCCESS, purpose is found IN THIS! (w/ Lauren Lowrey)
October 25, 2022
Welcome back to AMPstigator.
Today is a solo episode with me. It’s something I’ve been thinking alot about in the last several weeks - maybe even a month or more.
And it’s just one simple word: ABUNDANCE.
In last week’s episode with katie Radel, she and I talked about changing our definition of success and I said to her “we need to eradicate that word and come up with something different that we can use in its place.”
My word was ABUNDANCE. And I was thinking out loud in that episode of what could change if we embraced abundance rather than our society’s view of success. I want to dig deeper into that today because I want to bring awareness to something that’s likely holding you back from real joy and real fulfillment – which, to me, are hallmarks of purpose.
So, lets dig into that word “success.”
The definition of Success is:
1. the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
BASICALLY – WHETHER YOU DID WHAT YOU SET OUT TO DO. So, If my aim was to clean the kitchen or to plan out a podcast episode before I went to work in the morning – and I did it – than I was successful.
No problems there. It’s fine. Not positive or negative. You either did it - you were successful. Or you didn’t.
But the second official definition of SUCCESS is where I think MOST OF US go when we think of that word. The other definition is:
2. the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence – AND EMINENCE IS “PROMINENT, SUPERIOR” it’s elevation!
I know for me.. When I think of the word ‘success’ my mind goes to that second definition – and certainly Katie Radel did, too. In that last episode she was talking about having this important communication director role in a major hospital system and saying the car she drove would -in her mind- translate to success.
Success for her was the 2nd definition – “the attainment of wealth, favor or eminence.”
It’s status.
Alot of people measure success by things – by an outward expression:
the square footage in their home. By the cars they drive. By where they vacation. By what awards they receive.
Awards have definitely been my measure of success. I’ve won a solo-Emmy for my anchoring in Breaking News and Wall-to-Wall coverage. It was a big, important award that I’ve been really proud of. I’ve also been a part of several ensemble teams to win local and national Edward R. Murrow Awards. It’s the most prestigious award a journalist can receive.
But I reached a point last year – which I talk about very candidly on this podcast - where I think ‘who cares? What does it matter?’
Those things measure outward success. But they don’t measure an inner success. Those plaques and trophies don’t tell you anything about the mess in there. How’s my mental health? How’s my self-talk? How’s my self-awareness? How do I cope?
WHO KNOWS, BUT I’VE GOT THESE GREAT AWARDS!
So I’ve been thinking for a while that there’s probably a better word. Something that produces a different sense of success for me.
And the word I’ve come up with is….
ABUNDANCE.
Merriem Webster gives it 2 definitions I really like:
1 : an ample quantity
So, like – an abundant amount of vegetables in my garden. An abundance of ideas. An abundance of options.
And the second definition is:
2 : plentifulness
I can add my 3 rd definition – one that’s really easy to understand when we’re talking about “ample” and “plentiful.” My definition is:
MORE THAN ENOUGH.
This is something that’s become an affirmation for me. Affirmations are just positive things you can say to yourself to reprogram your mind – and get you thinking differently.
So, My affirmations, lately, have all centered around ABUNDANCE.
I’ll say to myself:
I have MORE THAN ENOUGH time.
I have MORE THAN ENOUGH energy.
I have MORE THAN ENOUGH creativity.
I have MORE THAN ENOUGH money.
We need to bring awareness to scarcity. All of us all the time are thinking things are in short supply. And when we do that, we draw the affirming situations to ourselves that match that. It’s like the old saying “whether you can, or you can’t.. You’re right.”
So if I’m saying “there’s not enough time…not enough creativity… not enough money…” then situations keep happening where all I see is the affirming of that scarcity. That’s the opposite success and abundance.
We have so much power in our minds. If I’m so focused on success – like, the societal expectation of success, or not being happy until I’ve achieved or bought something – that to me, feels like an entirely outward, flimsy and fleeting version of accomplishment.
But when I think about the word ABUNDANCE… and think MORE THAN ENOUGH… suddenly I feel different. Those words feel different to me in my body. I feel them like –
(deep breath in and out)
It’s a deep breath and sigh for me. It’s relief. It’s assurance. It’s knowing there’s plenty.
An attitude of abundance – for me – is peace.
I don’t have to be on the hamster wheel all the time. I don’t have to work until midnight and be up at 5a to do it all again – which I did for several months in the lead-up to launching AMPstigator. I don’t recommend it.
When I think about ABUNDANCE – reassuring myself that’s there’s MORE THAN ENOUGH TIME AND ENERGY AND CREATIVITY AND MONEY – then I take a breath and I experience another beautiful super-high-vibe emotion.
AND THAT’S GRATITUDE.
For me -this is a chicken-or-the-egg conversation. Do you feel abundance first AND THEN gratitude? Or do you feel gratitude first AND THEN COMES abundance?
I think both are right. Because they create this beautiful loop of positive vibes. Each of those things - gratitude and abundance provide a pathway to the other.
So, if you’ve been on the hamster wheel and pretty nervous thinking to yourself ‘how am I gonna get this done? How am I gonna make it through? How am I gonna make this sale or create this thing?’........
Then my advice would be to stop living in scarcity and flip it to abundance. Start feeling GRATITUDE for the situation that got you there. You could listen to my episode 26 “Find the Gift”... it’s acceptance and gratitude for everything.
Here’s how I use this. Every night when I lay down to go to sleep, I take deep breath – (laugh) it’s actually a sigh of relief that I made it through the day – and then I focus in my mind on what I’m grateful for.
?What happened today that made me feel grateful?
Yesterday it was some deep belly laughs with girlfriends. SO much joy there.
One day I said I was grateful for how excited my 2-year old gets every time I walk in the door from work.
Sometimes it’s gratitude for this small crystal I keep in my pocket that a friend gave to me – and I feel grateful that it grounds me because when I touch it, I remember what it represents and it gives me a moment of mindfulness. I’m so grateful for that!
When I put those things next to “success” and “awards” or “vacations”.... I feel like I’m talking about a completely different life. They’re on totally different planes.
Do you feel that?
Those things feel very different for me.
Just take a minute and feel the way those things feel in your body. I feel success as a clenching, a tightening, a gritting, a struggle, a hustle. It’s this endless energy drain. An exhausting ladder I can never finish climbing. My younger self was intoxicated by that.
My older self –my post transformational hospitalization self– feels abundance to be so much more freeing. I feel abundance as breath, an ease, a flow, an allowing, a release. Literally, the knots in my stomach release when I talk about abundance and I say those affirmations to myself:
I have MORE THAN ENOUGH time.
I have MORE THAN ENOUGH energy.
I have MORE THAN ENOUGH creativity.
There’s more than enough.
Take a moment and think to yourself - bring awareness to what you’re clinging to right now that feels like a tightening. Maybe you’re holding that pressure to succeed in your shoulders. Maybe it’s in your back. Maybe its all over your body and this is first time you’re thinking about letting go of some of these emotions you’ve stored.
We have to replace that with abundance. With feelings of ease.
So maybe that’s laying on a foam roller and opening up. Maybe that’s taking a bath. Maybe its walking in nature. Maybe it’s MAKING TIME for people you love.
This idea of measuring success by productivity is killing us. It’s keeping us from discovering what we’re really meant to do – because it’s success by someone else’s definition. That’s the opposite of purpose. We can’t cultivate purpose until we change our definition of success. The way society defines it - makes us play everyone else’s game. Living on this American conveyor belt isn’t purpose. It’s someone else’s definition. It’s not yours.
It was never meant to be your path. But we subscribe to it – and all the measures of success that go with it.
I’m not saying ‘sell your house, sell your car, live a humble life in the woods.’ I’m saying “WHO CULTIVATED YOUR DEFINITION OF SUCCESS? AND IS IT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT?”
We can buck that. And of course - here on this podcast I encourage you to do that! I would venture to say ALL OF MY GUESTS DO because they’ve all had to do the level of self-work and self-realization necessary to find your real path. The path that makes a difference. The path that brings life and light.
That’s the path of abundance.
That’s the path of purpose.
You have to open your mind and your body. Feeling gratitude and then abundance in a situation… that trumps success because it begins to change your definition of success.
It becomes YOUR definition. Not SOMEONE ELSE’S definition.
So I want to take a moment. If you’re in a place where you can close your eyes – do it. We’re gonna be mindful for a moment.
How do you define success. Is it wealth? Titles?
Where did your definition come from? Did you see it from someone else or did you come up with that yourself?
What are you striving for? Is it helping or hurting you?
Where in your life have you been saying “there’s not enough” or “I don’t have enough?”
Now we’re gonna flip that and use my affirmations for ABUNDANCE.. And I’m gonna leave blank the end word so you can fill in the word for yourself.
Here we go – say it with me –
I have more than enough _____
I have more than enough _____
I have more than enough _____
I have more than enough _____
Take a moment and keep saying these affirmations to yourself and add-in what’s true for you right now.
You are on your way to being abundant. THe journey always starts within.
I believe in you – and I see your potential. My hope is that you feel it and believe, it too.
Write these affirmations for yourself in a place you’ll see them. Remind yourself every day. Find gratitude and then say them – I have more than enough.
Next week on AMPstigator, my friend Alyssa Rosenheck is joining me. She’s one of the leading interior and architectural photographers in the country. Her work has been published more than 900 times in all the magazines. But the thing that we’re talking about is her wisdom around creative courage. Alyssa is a cancer survivor and a deeply spiritual woman and I just love any time I get to spend with her. And I know you will, too. So I’m looking forward to it!
As you go through this week, I encourage you to shine your light, lead with your heart, and live life purposefully. I’m Lauren Lowrey and this is AMPstigator.
