11th Oct 2022 AMPstigator Season Three Episode 36: You Are Right Where You Belong
With Guest Brittany Cole
[00:00:00] < Intro >
Lauren: This is AMPstigator. A podcast founded on purpose, but focused on the path to get there. Experience is the best teacher, and in this season of AMPstigator, we're going all in on female perspective of women and wisdom. As we answer one specific question; what's the lesson here?
You'll hear from my best girlfriends and favorite female collaborators. As we share, deeply, about what we're here to learn and teach, as we guide other women to purpose.
[00:00:32] < Music >
I love today's guest. Brittany Cole is strategic, she's smart, she's exacting. She understands the power and impact of a solid leader, and she has built an entire company around it. Back in 2015, she started working on Career Thrivers and that is her leadership development firm. She made it full-time in 2019. It is her thing, it's what she's known for.
Now, neither one of us can remember how exactly we met or how I even found her, in the first place. But somehow, last year, I reached out to her. Because I wanted to profile her for a story I was doing in my role as a news anchor for the NBC affiliate here in Nashville.
Now, if you are new to AMPstigator, I started this podcast because I wanted a platform to share really deep conversations, with some pretty incredible people. And a few years ago, I started profiling powerful women who'd achieved really incredible things.
But what I found is that our conversations, would always tend to the spiritual, the philosophical, metaphysical, even, just really deep. And I realized those conversations were powerful, but no one ever got to hear them. Because newscasts don't have a platform for that kind of stuff.
So the stories I put together for the TV station were just highlights. But I wanted more. I wanted more depth, I wanted more information, I wanted the whole unedited conversation, and that is where AMPstigator came from. It's what I built to make room for these deep conversations to be heard.
So Brittany Cole is one of the women I profiled before AMPstigator was ever a thing. And recently we've been bumping into each other because we have mutual friends. Two of whom actually have already been guests on this podcast in season one and season two. I'll put their episodes in the show notes, so, you know.
But I was like, "Hey, Brittany, you have to do this podcast with me. You have so much to teach people." So Britney spent 12 years at Pfizer in sales, and eventually as a brand manager in marketing.
She did a lot of DE&I work, which was where she found purpose and passion. And when she did brand management for Pfizer, she managed 20 million dollars and a cross-functional team of 25.
So she knows what she's doing, this isn't a new thing for her, to run a team. But you'll hear her talk about how she didn't love it. She let her identity become totally wrapped up in her her job, and that's a problem. In our society, we get so used to being told what to do, our entire education system is based on doing what you're told to do.
So, Britney really poses this question, "How much of what you're doing is what you decided to do for yourself?" And Britney really shines in the big lesson today, which is; You Belong Where Your Feet Are. You're here, you belong here.
I love how she was honest about feeling sometimes like she doesn't belong in certain places. And she has this great part, in this episode, about how she knows when she's playing too small or not challenging herself enough.
Honestly, it really surprised me and it might surprise you too. So I'm excited for you to enjoy this week's episode with Brittany Cole, with the lesson; You're Where You Belong.
[00:03:46] < Music >
Brittany: That sounds good.
Lauren: So let's start with thriving, what is is thriving to you? What does that mean?
Brittany: Yes, so, for me, it's about what's happening on the inside. It's less of the manifestation of things, which is typically what we associate thriving with. So I'm thriving if I have the dream job. If I have the house, the partner, and the two and a half kids or whatever your typical American dream picture is, in your mind, that is oftentimes what we're told success is.
And what I've learned is that, especially as women, oftentimes we start on that path, particularly, in our career. It's what people said we should do. It's what someone said we are good at, what they noticed in us, and then we go down that path and then something happens.
Lauren: Right.
Brittany: My mentor calls it a split-rock moment, but there's some disruption that happens, it helps you to recognize that's who I decided to be, not who I was meant to be. And then that transition, for me, I believe is where thriving really happens. Because you recognize, "Okay, I know who I'm meant to be, my purpose." And then I find just a sense of fulfillment and joy in what you do.
And, so, for me, that's what thriving is about. It's this alignment that is oftentimes hard to describe, but you know when you feel it. When there is an ease with how you move. Not easy, but there's a flow and an attraction in how you're navigating your life. Where you feel like you can show up fully, and, for me, that's what it looks like.
Lauren: I like how you bring that up, with ease and flow. Because I feel like you can spend only a little bit of time on Instagram, and realize there are lots of people who will go with this thing. Where they'll say, "Alignment brings ease and flow."
And for the longest time, I'm like, "What does that even mean?" But the truth is, it's something you have to feel. In the same way that you have to feel pain, that then ends you into the split-rock moment, as you're mentioning, like, pain then can get you to purpose. It can eventually get you to fulfillment as you begin to pursue it.
Brittany: Mm-hmm.
Lauren: But ease and flow is also something you have to feel. Because you have to feel prior, not ease, not flow, and then when you experience those things, you're like, "Oh!" Was there a moment, for you, that you were like, "This is alignment, this is ease, this is flow." And what got you to those places?
Brittany: Yes, I think so often it's what you mentioned, it's the experiencing the opposite of it. So, for me, I can remember a time in my career where I had spent at least seven years getting to this, we'll call it a table, we'll use that analogy, but just this position. This place of like, "That's really where I want to be. I worked hard to get there and it took some time, but I'm here."
Then getting to the place that you feel like is the pinnacle for you, at least, in that season of your life, and looking around and recognizing that you don't really like it. You don't really enjoy it.
Lauren: Oh, I could go all day about this.
Brittany: It's not exactly what you thought it would be. Until I was at that table and I was looking around and I'm thinking, "My God, I have spent so much time trying to get here."
Lauren: Yes, your entire adult life at this point chasing this thing.
Brittany: Yes. And then I got there and I'm like...? So then you can have this, if you're not mindful, internal spiraling of then, "What is wrong with me?"
Lauren: Oh, did you?
Brittany: Yes, initially, I did. Because I'm like, "Well, wait, so has all of this process been a lie? What have I been...?"
Lauren: Well, you're saying, "What's wrong with me?" For me, the question was, "I should be grateful. Why am I not grateful?"
Brittany: Yes, and I have, certainly, experienced, and often used as a place of almost like a pillar of truth, for me, that gratitude can sometimes keep you locked into complacency. It can stunt your growth.
And, so, I certainly felt this sense of like, when I said, "What's wrong with me?" Almost like a shame connected to, "I am at this place that people would just, I mean, they aspire to be, and I'm here and it's not it." In that season of my life, and it wasn't that I wasn't grateful for it. So I had to work through all of that. It doesn't mean you're not grateful. It doesn't mean that you haven't worked hard to be here, and it also doesn't mean that you have to stay.
Lauren: Yes.
Brittany: And I think so often we'll spend so much time in that spiraling space of trying to wrap our minds around, "Okay, I just need to be content here."
Lauren: Yes.
Brittany: And we use that word, and I don't, necessarily, believe that contentment means that you stay in a place that doesn't serve you. I believe that you're satisfied with where you are, as you're moving towards where you want to be. And, so, when you notice you're someplace that you don't want to be, I think that's a sign that you're not aligned.
Lauren: Yes, and you worked for a major corporation. You had millions of dollars under your stead before you jumped out and did your own thing.
Brittany: I did.
Lauren: You're like, "Yes, that's true."
Brittany: That is so true. And it's so interesting because just on this theme of flow. I started my career thinking that I was going to law school. I was a political science and pre-law, communications major, and that was the path, like, "I'm doing this." And then I was presented with an internship opportunity in undergrad and started working at Pfizer.
So I spent a little over 12 years there and had an incredible experience. I was a sales leader, did marketing there, and a whole lot of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion work on the side. Through strategic projects, and really found my purpose and passion in that place, but yes.
And, so, when I was in brand management, I was responsible for about a 20 million budget. A cross-functional team of about 25 leaders, across different business units, and I learned so much.
I was in marketing for about two years, not even a full two years. And I often think of it as almost like dog years, and any marketer will get what I mean, because the pace with which you have to learn and adjust. But I can't tell you, Lauren, how much I lean on that experience as a business owner.
Lauren: Yes.
Brittany: And I mean, specifically, those two years, what I learned as a brand manager at Pfizer. So, yes, I take that experience with me every single day.
Lauren: Yes, it's interesting to me because as an entrepreneur that you are now, I mean, you have so many employees. You help so many people.
You help so many companies, as they deal with the DE&I work, allyship, and all of these other things that you just really stand on and just do such a beautiful job with. I feel like there's a really interesting balance that you, as an entrepreneur, have to strike. And I feel like a lot of women have to strike this balance too, of like, "I'm going to go all in on this dream. I've got. I've always known I could be an entrepreneur, I could run this company, I could do this thing."
But you have to balance between like pushing hard and then resting. Pushing- You're like, "Yes." I wonder, at what point you started to feel like, "I got to take this seriously. Me, myself, my body, I got to take my body seriously. I got to take my rest seriously or stuff's not getting done because there's nobody to do it."
Brittany: Mm-hmm, absolutely. Yes, so, gosh, there's so much I can say about that.
Lauren: Please do.
Brittany: I'll say one thing and the first thing I'll say is I do believe you have to find what works for you. And, so, I believe you have to find what works for you. And you also in that finding what works for you had to be reflective about what has worked for you in the past. So when I consider, "Okay, Brittany, how do you enjoy working and when are you at your best?" This is going to sound wild, I am at my best between 12 and 2:00 am.
Lauren: Okay, that's not wild.
Brittany: When it comes to just like being able to create and being able to flow. And, so, it's like, "Okay, you have that on one hand." And then on this other hand, you know that you have sometimes 7:00 am calls and 12-hour days. So how do you fluctuate? And, so, for me, one of the things that I have come to learn I need is a quarterly break.
Lauren: Okay, what does that look like?
Brittany: It doesn't have to be a lavish vacation. It could be a staycation, during the pandemic it was a staycation. But I just need time away and in a different setting, different scenery. To really replenish, to just be playful, to be creative, to just enjoy without an agenda.
But I also give myself that grace to know that, hey, sometimes, there are stints, there are seasons where it is, "Okay, it doesn't feel like I'm getting the rest that I need to get." And just being able to navigate in between the demands and also the demands of your body, and being well.
Lauren: Yes, how long did it take for you to figure that out?
Brittany: I'm still figuring it out, very much so. I would say, particularly, I still consider, Career Thrivers, I just don't believe anyone would very much a startup. I started my entrepreneurship journey in 2015. But in terms of being a full-time business owner, at the end of this year will be three full years. So, definitely, still learning and still growing.
So, for me, I've noticed different things, for instance, I brought on a new operations leader who's brilliant. Who has taken so much off of my plate and allowed me to focus more on things that are still work, but also things that really fuel me.
Lauren: Yes.
Lauren: And I noticed I rest differently because I'm working differently. And, so, I believe it's something that you're continuously learning, especially, as an entrepreneur early in your career.
Lauren: There's like the zone of genius. Have you heard that term before?
Brittany: Yes, absolutely.
Lauren: So you've got somebody, now, who's on your team, who's allowed you to start to really operate in your zone of genius.
Brittany: She has all that zone of excellent stuff. Like, "I can do that. I've learned to do that, well, but this is what I'm really great at. So, yes, I get to spend more time in that place." Which is why I started the business in the first place.
Lauren: I love; I'm trying to remember how long ago this was. Recently, you and I were at an event together and you were talking on a mic about just basically how you, I don't remember... It was nourishment, that's what it was. It was about nourishment.
Brittany: Yes.
Lauren: And we were just like the whole audience just, basically, asked, "What does nourishment mean to you?" And I thought it was so interesting, everyone had such a different take on nourishment. For me, nourishment it's all the things. Nourishment is not just physical nourishment, it's not just food.
Nourishment is spiritual, it's all of the things, body, mind, soul, and it's those things in a holistic way. And not in like, gosh, I feel like people throw around body, mind, soul, the three of them, the trifecta, it gets thrown around too much. But you understand nourishment, I think in a really beautiful way. Do you remember what you said that day about your cup?
Brittany: Oh, yes.
Lauren: Tell us about the cup and how the cup overflows?
Brittany: Yes, so I believe that we hear, "Don't pour from an empty cup." And I think anyone would agree, "Yes, sure, fill your cup." And I believe that we are supposed to pour from our overflow, that the cup is truly meant for us. And, so, this analogy of having a full cup, so that you can pour. It's like, wow, wouldn't it be amazing if you're able to pour from what's flowing over the saucer.
You were able to pour from this place of overflow.
Where you stay in a state of alignment, but also replenishment yourself. Where you never feel like you're depleted in what you're doing.
I believe that happens when you're working in alignment, there's that word again, but with your gifts. And I believe that's what working in that space does for you, whether the zone of genius. As a woman of faith, it's your gifts, strengths. Gallup's StrengthFinders, is another way that you can think of it.
But when you're working in that space, there is this fulfillment, and going back to what I mentioned about thriving. For me, that's what it feels like, particularly, professionally. Because I think so often, again, as women, we can find ourselves on this path and we look up and we're like, "How did I get here?"
Lauren: Yes.
Brittany: "Who chose this?" I did. But really I didn't because I was listening to what everyone else said should be the next step, for me, instead of-
Lauren: You were following the play, it's like.
Brittany: ...instead of owning my power. Yes, owning my power and deciding that for myself.
Lauren: I want to explore something with you. I wonder if this feels true, for you, was there ever a point in your journey, as a someone who is employed, that "How is it that I'm so good at this, but I'm not happy with it, or I don't enjoy it?" Did you ever find yourself asking that question or thinking that?
Brittany: Yes, absolutely.
Lauren: Well, I wonder, if you've gotten to a place where you started to really dissect that. Because I feel like in your entrepreneurial journey, you're still doing some of the exact same things you did for another company, but it feels different. And why? Have you wondered or have you excavated why it feels different for you now, as opposed to why it felt one way then?
Brittany: Well, I think there's an element of work, just your career that isn't always like, "This is what I absolutely love doing." There certainly are those aspects of, take speaking for instance, I love speaking. Do I love creating the visuals and PowerPoints, when a talk calls for that? Not necessarily. I can do it, but it's a part of the package deal.
So, I think, we all have an element of that. But certainly when I consider, you mentioned the difference between being employed and being an entrepreneur. I think for me, in this space, when I'm doing the things that I don't absolutely love doing.
It's the knowing that one day I'm going to be able to pass this along to someone else, hence the ops leader. And, also, getting a sense of how it needs to be done in a way or an approach to doing it, so that you can guide that person that's going to pick it up.
So I do think there is an element of like, "Okay, I'm doing this for a season and I'll have the opportunity to hand this off. I'm not doing it forever." And I'm also, I think, this is the biggest differentiator.
I'm not doing it to prove my worthiness to an employer, that I don't feel, particularly, if you're in a space where you don't feel like you belong in that space. Or you're seen, heard, and valued in that space. Sometimes the doing of things that we don't love doing, we have a harder time because we're working in an environment that may not be the best for us.
Lauren: Right. When you're in an environment, any environment, you're managing a lot of things. So you're trying to manage your own work, but you're also managing the social aspects and where you fit in the pecking, and "Does this give me job security? Does it not. Do I even enjoy it"
I mean, there's a lot of stuff that you're having to deal with and manage at the same time as the work. I mean, no wonder why people aren't nearly as engaged in the work or productive in the work, that they're doing for companies. Because there's too much they're trying to manage at the same time, and it's not the work, it's a lot of other stuff.
That, like, "Hey I think even, too, like your work within Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion would probably have something to say about it too. Like how does someone, where are they spending their mental energy? Are they spending it and wondering whether they even belong in a space?
Brittany: Yes, and that all boils down to culture. So creating an environment where people can actually thrive and recognizing that, that looks different for different people. And, so, that's where that inclusion piece comes in, particularly, as a leader.
Where you get to know your people and you recognize that, "Okay, this person responds to recognition in this way. And, so, in order to create an environment where you can thrive, I need to show up as a leader like this for him or her." And I believe that's what you signed up for.
Lauren: Yes.
Brittany: When you signed up to be a people leader. It can sound like, "Oh, that's a lot. Do you know I'm managing 20 people?" And it's like, "Yes." And you signed up to lead 20 people.
Lauren: Yes, exactly.
Brittany: And, so, it's recognizing what people need to create that environment where they can show up fully and thrive.
Lauren: So season three, Brittany, as you know, is all about women and wisdom. I'm only interviewing women in this season. I only want to talk about lessons because I reached a point, in my own life, where I'm like, "Wow, there's a lot of lessons that I have learned up to this point, and some of which that I keep learning over and over again."
And I've been thinking to myself, "Dear, God, let me not learn this lesson again. Let this be the last time I learn this lesson." So every woman I talk to in this, exact, space about these things, it always comes with a question of; what are you learning right now? Or what do you consistently learn? So, first of all, what are you learning right now, that's a lesson for you right now, that you're learning in real time?
Brittany: Yes, oh, which one?
Lauren: Whatever comes up first. This is, truly, like whatever's true for you in this instant is what I want.
Brittany: Yes, I would say that the lesson that's top of mind, right now, is you belong where your feet are. And, so, just trusting that whatever context I'm in, whatever situation that presents, if I'm in it, I'm ready and equipped for it. And I, also, think that's one of those lessons that keeps coming up.
Lauren: Yes.
Brittany: Because I think that that means different things in different seasons of your life. But certainly that is a current, today, lesson.
Lauren: Yes, well, so when I initially hear that, I think, "Are you second guessing yourself whether you belong in a certain place or whether you've earned that spot?" How is it actually for you, when you're learning?
Brittany: I think, for me, I really relish the element of surprise. And if you're an entrepreneur, there are lots of moments like that. So I recently have been a bit surprised, I would say, I had an unexpected opportunity.
Where it just had me stop and think like, "Wow, yes, this is something that I prayed for." I also thought that this was something that would be farther down the line, "It's here now am I ready for this right now?" Because I thought this would be coming... And, so, it's just trusting that the opportunity in the moment is here and you're already ready.
Lauren: Yes.
Brittany: And that's almost like an affirmation, for me, like, "I am already ready."
Lauren: Yes.
Brittany: And, for me, it permeates even into other areas because I go back to the keynotes and to the PowerPoints. It's like, visuals are great, I want to acknowledge the way that people learn, but I could show up and talk without it. Speaking is my divine gift, so I don't really need that. I'm already ready for the moment.
And, so, just trusting that, and I believe that, that helps you show up with a different level of, people think that it's confidence, but I, truly, believe that it's courage. Where there is this element of questioning. I don't think that we're ever meant to not have that.
Because I think if you're in a space where you're like, "I know I've got this." You're playing too small. If you're in a space where you're like, "I have no doubt in my mind." You probably could go a bit bigger.
So there is this element of, like, "Mm, I'm not sure." And that's the courage that you harness to press through that moment. To say, "I'm showing up anyway and I'm showing up boldly, and I'm showing up trusting my instincts in align, that I'm meant for this moment, that I belong here."
Lauren: Yes, do we need to be doing more things that scare us?
Brittany: Oh, yes, particularly, as women and I think, especially, when we think about our career because I think it's what keeps us in places too long. And I don't, necessarily, mean just tenure, too long, there's that too. And I'm certainly not advocating jump every year to a new employer, I'm not saying that either.
But I do think that there's this element of questioning shame, even, gratitude, sometimes, that keeps us from trying the thing that we know in our gut is meant for us next. It's what we really want and we allow fear to keep us in place.
Lauren: Hmm, that's interesting. I feel like there's so many things I want to talk to you about here. I mean, I'm thinking, too, just initially of you praying for something, getting that thing, being afraid of that thing, thinking the timing isn't right. That just, immediately brings up for me, that nothing in our lives is linear when we're living on purpose. Just go with me here.
Brittany: Mm-hmm.
Lauren: When you say to yourself, "I'm going to step in and I'm going to live this life of purpose, I'm going to go with my divine gifts, I'm just going to go there. I'm going to live in that way, here's what I want." We have no control over the timing. If we step up and say like, "Here I am, use me." Then somebody, something else, controls the timing of it.
So how do we, as women, as people, just anyone, who's saying like, "I'm going to step out like this. I'm going to step out." A spiritual person might say, "I'm going to step out in faith here, and I'm just going to go with this." So how do we trust that we are prepared, even when our journey of purpose is not linear?
Brittany: Yes, I think that one lesson to lean on in those moments is disconnecting yourself from the outcome. Because I think when you're trying to go after something, with the way that you think the end goal is supposed to be in mind. It keeps you on this constant questioning, "Am I ready? Is this it?"
Versus I believe really focusing more on who you are and who you're becoming, as you're moving. And then when the thing happens it's not on the three-year plan, it happened in six months.
Then it's less about, "Okay, let me focus on this and the result of it." And more about, "Brittany, you're already ready. You're equipped with everything that you need to thrive in this moment. And what they're asking you to do, you're more than capable of blowing it out of the water and letting the outcome fall where it might."
And I think so often, and certainly social media and technology plays a role in this, which is great. But I think the flip side of the coin is that it keeps us in this looking and lurking phase, where we're always comparing-
Lauren: It's voyeuristic.
Brittany: ...where we perceive our outcomes to be with the perception that others are sharing with us. So that we're always in our head and never really moving, and the traction comes with action.
You can be thinking about the thing all day long. But if you never move on it, if you never take this step, because you're so worried about what the outcome is going to be. You don't find that place of alignment, and you, certainly, I believe, stunt your purpose and your growth in a major way.
Lauren: For me, setting an intention has been key in all of that, and understanding what intention means for me. I feel like for everybody it might be different. But, for me, I had to experience the same thing that you're talking about, of divorce myself from the outcome, what is the intention?
Brittany: Mm-hmm.
Lauren: So season three, everything big that I make traction on, before I step out, I make sure to check, in here, and say to myself, "What's the intention here?" And, for me, intention is the goal, "What is the goal here?"
Brittany: Mm-hmm.
Lauren: So I keep every episode, like, that's where it is, top of my mind, this is women and wisdom. So I had no idea what this episode's going to look like until I sat in this chair.
Brittany: Same.
Lauren: But I know you're like, "Lauren's like, 'Tell me.'"
Brittany: Which I love. I'm like, "I don't know we're going to talk about, but we're going to talk and it's going to be great."
Lauren: And it's going to be about lessons and it's going to be about wisdom. Because I just don't feel like that can be captured in question-answer.
Brittany: Oh, yes.
Lauren: That is only captured in- you share, I share, we share. We share together. We take something we've learned and then we teach other women in that same way, so whatever it is the intention is that.
So, for me, that's how I've embraced intention and goal. That's how I've embraced it, of like "What is that?" I don't care how, what it looks like or how we get there, as long as every episode has wisdom, that it has encouragement, that's all it's got to be. So I wonder, do you set intentions? What do intentions look like for you or is it even different, that process?
Brittany: Yes, I think it's similar, I definitely try to. So my intention, and I'm, certainly a visual learner, by nature. But it's more of like, "What is the vision of where it is that I want to be?" And having some picture of that in my head, and then being flexible with the route to get there.
Lauren: Yes.
Brittany: So my intention or this vision and destination is I want to be here, and I recognize that, "Okay, it may take one year, it may take five years. I may go this way, I may go around the long way, but I'm moving towards that path."
The only way that I really know, particularly, as a business owner, I would say, especially, as a woman that's leading a business. You really have to move through the mental spiraling that happens.
I think, in some ways, it's natural, but I also think that there is a mindfulness and a mental discipline, in learning how to work through it. So that you actually take those steps towards that vision and recognize that, "Okay, that's my intention. I've set this intention but the only way I'm going to see it is to actually move and to take the steps."
Lauren: Yes, which is interesting because as we go back to this lesson that you're learning right now. That wherever your feet are, you're in the right spot. Wherever your feet are, but it's this acknowledgement of your feet might have to move.
Brittany: Yes, oh, we need those feet to be moving, that's right.
Lauren: So I wonder how you come to terms with that? What is it that you are saying to yourself? Because we all have these inner conversations.
Brittany: Mm-hmm.
Lauren: So in those moments where you're like, "Oh, crap, I'm not ready for this." And then you're reminding yourself, "Yes you are. Your feet are here, this is where you're meant to be." But when does Brittany Cole say, "But these feet are made for walking and I actually have to do something now." So what's that inner conversation, for you?
Brittany: Yes, it, certainly, is a reminder that I'm already ready. That I trust my training and my training is my life. So I don't, necessarily, believe when people say, "Oh, well, this is it, this is my moment of purpose."
Well, it's like, "No purpose isn't, necessarily, a destination it's who we are."
Lauren: Oh, yes.
Brittany: So you are purpose ready, so you bring purpose to everything that you do. But it's that constant reminding of taking your thoughts captive and saying, "Nope, that's not one that I need. This is one that I'm going to harness and I'm going to remind myself, daily." I believe that's what the Scripture about, "Renewing your mind. Being transformed by the renewal of your mind. It's a daily practice.
It's not, "I read the affirmation, or I read the Scripture, or I listened to the podcast and I got inspired and I'm good." It's like, "No, and today, Brittany, you're already ready. I belong where my feet are. I'm equipped to thrive. I have everything that I need to show up in this moment and to master the moment." And it's that internal dialogue that's like, "Yes, I can take another step."
Lauren: Yes, I know, for me, something that I, personally, have struggled with, not currently, I think, maybe, in years past. Something that I struggled with was just thinking too far in advance. And it's only been in the last, probably, year or year and a half, where I've finally started to go, "Wait a minute, I really can only control this moment. This very finite moment in front of me, how am I going to respond right now? How am I going to respond today?"
Brittany: Mm-hmm.
Lauren: And I think part of the problem has been that in the career that I'm in, you work on contract cycles. Just because you're hired doesn't mean you're there forever. You have, for example, a three-year contract is very standard in television.
So like, "Here's your three-year contract." You have a job for three years, but you really don't because, truly, contracts are written to aid the employer. So the employer can come to me at any point and give 60-days' notice and say, "Your contract is done." So I am not a typical employee, in that I have to think through all the time. I'm, literally, every day I'm like, "Well, but what if I don't have a job in two months?"
"What if I don't have a job at the end of this contract?" And, so, I've had to personally battle with looking too far in advance, and then only trying to say, "Well, today, here's what I'm going to control today." And I wish I would've brought this with me, even when I was putting on my makeup this morning, to come over here. I had written out my affirmation and it was sitting there. So I'm putting on my makeup and I look down and there's my handwritten affirmation for the day.
But I feel like that took me years of adulthood to reach. Lots of pain and then lots of trial, and then also finding purpose to realize that this has to be cultivated every day.
This has to be, once you feel, truly, aligned in something. That's not just something that's like, "Oh, I reached it, now I can slide down the mountain." So what are some of the practices that you feel like you have to continuously cultivate? Just like purpose or the thriving that you talk so much about.
Brittany: Yes, so some practices, for sure, are I believe prayer is a practice, It helps to keep me centered and focused. I also believe in time alone just to reflect.
Lauren: Here, here.
Brittany: Yes, so making time, creating time, however creative you have to get, but certainly making time for introspection. Making time to think about how you think. So orthogonal thinking, I believe, is so powerful. It's like, "Okay, I know I thought that because I thought it, but where did that thought come from?"
Lauren: Yes.
Brittany: And going down that trail in your mind, to really help you because everything flows from that. Everything flows from your heart and your mind, to really being intentional about what are in informing those two things. And I believe it, certainly, is that time alone that helps you to become more aware of that reading, it's a practice.
Lauren: Learning you're saying?
Brittany: Yes, absolutely, and as adults, so much of our learning is about unlearning. So it's recognizing that pattern and then being okay with being challenged. So much of DEI is about this. People think it's about all the big concepts and the training. It's really about helping adults to learn, i.e. unlearn.
Lauren: Yes.
Brittany: That the way that I thought the world was, or the way that I thought even I got here to this role, might not exactly be all there is to the picture. And "Am I okay with sitting in the discomfort of another perspective, another purview." And I believe internally, just as well, it's an important practice. That gets you, like you said to that, "Okay, I'm a real, for real adult now, and it's taken me a while to learn these lessons." And those are just some of the practices that I live by, that really help me then to thrive, to show up as who I am.
With this mindset that, "I'm meant for this moment. I belong here and I have this, yes, bigger vision and bigger picture of where I want to go." But much like you were saying, it's important to have that long-term picture, but to focus on what is the next step, and to continue to move forward.
Lauren: Yes, right now. What do you feel like you've struggled with, personally, in these last couple of years? Once you got out, away from Pfizer, and then you've started this company. What have been some of the things that you've really had to battle with yourself on?
Brittany: Yes, so the surprise battle was exactly what we're talking about. So much of my identity and how I saw myself was connected to Pfizer. So it was connected to having this well-established, great brand equity, awesome experience, access-
Lauren: Title?
Brittany: Title, access at this Fortune 100 company with a very long runway that I could have continued to pursue, and I knew that other people saw that in me. So people ask the question, "What do you do? Where do you work?" And you see how people adjust, how they shift.
Lauren: A 1000%. I mean, I tell people I'm a news anchor and they're like, "Oh."
Brittany: Yes, I knew that other people had that. I didn't know until I left that, "Oh, I have a hang-up right there too."
Lauren: Yes.
Brittany: I have a hang-up right there too. So as I talked about my business or this new, "What are you doing next?" I'm like, "I'm starting this leadership development firm."
"Oh, okay, that's cute, that little business."
I'm like, "Oh, wait a minute, hold on a second." But not because of what they said be, but because of how that made me feel.
Lauren: Yes, you were triggered by it. It lit something for you.
Brittany: Yes, it did. It showed me, me. I'm like, "Whoa, girl, you got to work on that." You have a little issue going on there. So, yes, that was a challenge. Those first couple of years, I'm like, "Hold on, I got some experience." I didn't just wake up and say, "I'm going to try something."
I'm like, "Oh, that's you, that's your ego. That's this enmeshment of career and identity that is a slippery slope. So that's why I'm so passionate about this topic because it is so easy to see yourself, only through the lens of what you do.
Lauren: Mm.
Brittany: And it's not that you don't know that there are these other areas in your life that are important. But so much when all of our identity becomes who we are, excuse me, what we do. All of how we see ourselves is through this lens of this career that, sometimes, we didn't even choose for ourselves.
Lauren: Right, that someone else was just like, "You should try this." And you're like, "Okay". Because I feel like in our society, we just get so used to being told what to do. Think about it, through how our entire educational system is done is based on, "Do this. Here's your homework, do this." And as long as you follow everyone else's rules, then you'll have success.
Brittany: Sure.
Lauren: I certainly did that. You certainly did that. And then there was a point where you're like, "But wait a minute, how much of this did I choose for myself and can I let it go?" I mean, I feel that because I, also, have had that same thing. It was season two, where one of the guests, one of my guests, Clara Belden, I will link this in the show notes for this episode. But she took me through authenticity exercise.
Brittany: Mm-hmm.
Lauren: Where she said, "We've got to divorce ourselves from all of the labels that we have. I see myself as this label, this label, this label." Well, you're not any of those. So let's think of ourselves less as labels and more as words, as being; What emotion are you feeling right now?
Well, "I'm feeling this or I'm feeling that." But it's not about, "I'm a mom." It's not about, "I'm a news anchor, or a sister, or a wife, or any of those things." We get so attached to titles and labels, and you will never find authenticity when all you think about is what you do, it's a label.
Brittany: Yes, you mentioned feeling, sometimes you don't even feel because you are only moving from a head space.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Brittany: You're only moving from this thought of like, "I've made it to this table and not only have I made it to this table, but I'm one of a few." Or heaven forbid, "I'm the only." As a Black woman, so I'm looking around and then the thoughts aren't even just mine of like, "If I make the decision to leave how does it impact my career?"
Then it becomes, "Well, how am I representing for other Black women?" There's so much there. And, so, for me, it's been about being, truly, grounded in who I am. But also recognizing that those emotions are data, and if you don't stop and feel, and get connected to like, "Oh, I feel something." That was the inclination for me, when I would feel something, when people would be like, "Okay, that's cute. That little business." I'm like-
Lauren: Did they really say, "That's cute. That little business?"
Brittany: "Oh, that's nice."
Lauren: No, way.
Brittany: Okay.
Lauren: You're like, "It's just what I was put on this earth to do, but whatever."
Brittany: And, particularly, when I first made my exit, and granted, I worked with some phenomenal, brilliant people. But there were some conversations of, "Well, if you decide to change your mind." That was one of that, it didn't work out.
"If you decide to change your mind. You can always come back, we're always here." Which I appreciate, certainly. But in some conversations there were a little bit more behind that open door, as well. And you're like, "Oh, okay, all right." And then you don't want to fall into this space of proving that, "Oh, let me prove them wrong." No.
Lauren: Well, I feel like you have to go from proving to trusting.
Brittany: Mm-hmm.
Lauren: You're not proving anything to anyone, you have to trust where your feet are is where you're supposed to be. And then you stepping out and getting traction on something, this is what you're meant to do. You feel a calling there, this is where you're going, it doesn't matter if it makes sense to anyone else.
A mutual friend of ours, DeLisa Guerrier, from season one, said this and it's my favorite quote, I'll never forget this. She says, "Don't accept opinion from someone who wasn't given the vision." The vision was given to you; it wasn't given to them.
So you can't accept their opinion or whatever they're putting on you, about that nice, little, business that was cute. They weren't tapped to start. Maybe they were tapped to do something else and they didn't listen, I don't know, but this is yours.
Brittany: Yes.
Lauren: You have to set out with what was given to you and you have. Don't you feel that" I look at you and I see so much success, to me, outside looking in, it's like doors have opened left and right for you in these last three years. You have so many people working for you. You have so many companies that you're teaching leadership development to, it's just really amazing.
Brittany: Thank you.
Lauren: Do you feel that?
Brittany: I do.
Lauren: Do you feel that way too?
Brittany: I do, I definitely feel that. I, also, know, at the same time, it's interesting, there's this tension it's like- Yes/And. Again, going back to the vision, the picture in my mind. It's like, "Oh, girl, you haven't even scratched the surface, yet."
Lauren: Oh, we're just laying the groundwork.
Brittany: Right, but I do feel that and I appreciate that, and that is even part of the practice. Going back to the part of the practice, too, is pausing to appreciate, "Okay, let's just reflect back on the last three years. I know you've got this, but let's just stop for a moment and recognize, and be grateful for, 'Wow, you really are doing the thing that you set out to do.'"
Lauren: What are the things that you're saying, wow, about? Give me the rap sheet of what makes you say, wow, in your company?
Brittany: Yes, so getting to work with some of the corporations that we get to work with. That I can remember vividly putting on a vision board, and being like, "This is a wish list." And sitting down with those CEOs to help them strategize how to be better for their diverse colleagues. Like, "What, I get to do that."
Lauren: Yes.
Brittany: Or connecting with the Entrepreneur Center, as a client. I'm like, "It was just three years that I was sitting in one of their programs. They're a client of mine. I'm serving them as a Fractional Chief Equity and Inclusion officer and helping business owners think about DEI from the start." Not after they've built a huge business.
Or getting to hire a new operations leader that is completely in her zone of genius, so brilliant, that brings ideas, and I'm just like, "Oh, my gosh, I get to do this. I get to work with you." There's just so much, I'm just like, "Okay, let's stop and smell the roses for a moment and then we'll pick our feet back up and keep going." But, yes, I think that's an important practice too.
Lauren: I want to know what vision Brittany Cole has. What's the vision? Can you share some of it with us?
Brittany: Yes, so when I think about Career Thrivers, I think about a space and a place to encourage, and equip leaders. And, so, if I had to lean on present-day leaders that come to mind as a picture, I see myself as John C. Maxwell meets Oprah Winfrey.
Lauren: What a wonderful person.
Brittany: So it's this combination of leadership development that is global. With also this very connected sense of creating spaces for people to tell stories and for people to own all of who they are, and to really show up and thrive in the work that they enjoy doing, and that being a real space in Nashville, downtown.
Lauren: Like a tangible space?
Brittany: Like a building.
Lauren: When you say space, I think of a co-working space. In my mind, when you say space, I see a co-working space. Is that the kind of thing that you're talking about?
Brittany: More of like yes/and. More of a leadership development center. With co-working, but also as you know companies are virtual and teams are virtual, and the typical path is you rent out a conference room, at a hotel, for your meetings and for your trainings.
So I have this vision of could there be a space for that? Where you're coming to Career Thrivers, we're not just coming to you but you have the option to come to us. I mean there's a facility that is built for developing the next generation of leaders.
Lauren: There is nothing that I love more than having people on this podcast who are disruptors. And with that idea, my friend, you in my mind have just reached disruptor status, and I freaking love it. I love it. I love that you're thinking that way. Do other people know that this is your vision?
Brittany: I've shared it with a few people.
Lauren: I was going to say is this the world premier?
Brittany: Certainly, the team knows. But I was just sitting here thinking, I'm like, "I don't know that I've ever shared this in a podcast in this way." I don't know, I feel a little vulnerable out here." Hey, but, yes, that's the picture in my mind.
Lauren: Your feet are here., this is where you are right now, and I asked you a question that you answered and I appreciate it.
Brittany: Yes.
Lauren: I love this. I just, last week actually, made a keynote presentation about my work with AMPstigator. The people asked me to create a presentation about purpose and how to pull purpose into the corporate culture. How do I find purpose in the work that I'm doing for this X, Y, Z company?
One of the things that showed up in the research, that was partly of what I presented in this speech, was that time for coaching and leadership development were major indicators of things that cultivate meaning and purpose for an employee.
So I hear you talk about this center and I also combine that with none of us go to work... most people don't go to a workplace, we are remote employees. So if I take the idea that you have of like here's this place, where people can go to just get filled, get filled, get to learn about, "How do I become a better leader, a better manager, all of the things?
If there's a space, and we know that companies can cultivate meaning by paying for this kind of work. Gosh, I see, "Hey, every other Tuesday at 9:30 in the morning, I go work for three hours from this space.
Part of that time is I work with my one-on-one advisor." You're like, "Mh-hmm, this is it." Girl, I see it. I see exactly what you're doing because it almost, too, combines in the same way that financial planning has those- I love that your face, you're like, "Yes, you see the vision?"
Brittany: Yes.
Lauren: I see the vision. I see it. I mean, I almost feel like, too, you should have a small amphitheater that maybe could sit 200. Is that part of it too? Oh, I like this game.
Brittany: Little studio?
Lauren: Let me think of some other things. Let me think, what else would your space have? I love this. I love imagining with you.
Brittany: Oh, boy, I love it too. But, no, this is good. Like you said, I'm in this moment. I'm embracing the discomfort of I don't think that I have ever about this on a mic.
Lauren: I feel like Brittany Cole is always in control. So to get Brittany Cole out of a lot of control, I love this.
Brittany: You're a pro, let me just give you your flowers. You are brilliant at what you do. But, yes, an amphitheater, a studio, so like the Oprah Winfrey part, it's on the premise. Coaching, certainly. Being able to do this podcast and content out of the space. Obviously a space for employees to work in a hybrid capacity, but, yes, all of that is what I see.
Boardrooms, places for presentations and meetings, and training, and development. One-on-one space so that you can have those hard conversations. But, certainly, I couldn't agree more with what you shared about the research, learning and development, they're broader.
Lauren: Yes.
Brittany: Space is such a critical component to engagement, and engagement is a business challenge. It directly hits the P&L of companies and, I think, since the pandemic, it's something that is on everyone's radar because you see it. Whether it's a great resignation or just the current present state of the workforce, but it's an important piece.
And I do think the other thing that I would say, is also, here in my mind, there may be those that are like, "Well, you could do that virtually." And we do it virtually now, so we don't have a space. We coach virtually and that works.
I also think that there's so much power in learning in the same space. So in a controlled environment, that's why I love events. Being able to bring people together to learn, vicariously, in a moment that is away from a laptop and away from a Team's meeting.
I think there's just so much power for transformation in that. And then just being able to work alongside a company as they are creating this culture, and building an environment where anyone can thrive. That is, certainly, not unconscious biased training, or a course, or a workshop, that is a long Journey.
And, so, that's my vision for how Career Thrivers will show up in the world. And we're on that path, and like you said, coaching is a huge part of what we do.
Lauren: Well, and even, it's interesting that we bring up engagement because Gallup puts out, every single year, The State of the Workforce, and in their 2022 State of the Workforce. Only 21% of employees are engaged, think about that. You got a team of 10, eight of them are not engaged. Actually out of the 10, six of them are emotionally detached.
Brittany: Disengaged.
Lauren: Three of those 10, I think it's 31% or so, are miserable. They're miserable to the point they don't want to be there and they're making everybody else... You know what, I beg your pardon, it's two. Two are miserable and four are so stressed and emotionally detached, four, in a total of six. They are pulling your organization down.
So you got a team of 10 and six of them are truly dead weight, and you've got three, this is again, all according to Gallup's State of the Workforce. Three of them are thriving in their well-being, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're thriving at work. It just means that they're balanced and they have work-life balance. Great. But only two of your 10 people are actually contributing and engaged in the work.
Holy crap! We've got a problem. And, so, if all a company has to do is start to address, like, "You know what, you are meaningful, you have a place in this organization, and let's improve you. Let's improve your ability to manage and lead." Or, "Let's give you some coaching. Let me, as an employer, show you how valuable you are to me."
My, God, you can start really addressing some of that, I mean, a major chunk. All it takes is someone to think, "Wow, we are wasting..." I think the total was $7.8 trillion worldwide. That's 11% global GDP, gal, I mean, we got a problem in this country.
Brittany: Huge problem.
Lauren: Huge, and if we can address it. Look, me and you Brittany, we are saving the world right now.
Brittany: Let's go.
Lauren: We're saving the world. I mean, to me, though, it's so obvious, and we have major corporations that have a lot of money, that can address this. They are losing so much money, so much. And to a business, sometimes, all you got to do is talk about, "Let's get to the bottom-line." Like, "Look, you are losing money. Put money here and you'll start to get some of that back." Gal!
Brittany: You're talking through my pitch deck right now.
Lauren: Girl, well, I mean, I'm glad we're on the same page because this this was my keynote last week. I'm not kidding, it's so clear to me but we get so stuck in the weeds, right? More than just ourselves, more than just our company, all of us.
All of us, as a society, we only seem to lead with what's up here. We lead with our heads and never stop to think or stop to feel. "Hey, there might be a different way here. We can do this."
Brittany: Yes, and developing people to lead is a big part of it. Because if you think about the traditional pathway of people, leaders, particularly, in corporate, usually it is the expert that gets promoted.
So we'll take sales, for instance, which is where I spent nine years of my career. Those top-sales leaders get put in that hipot talent, nine-box grid. And then they're the subject of calibration and talent planning meetings to become the next leaders.
Zero leadership development before they assume the title. And, oftentimes, even after they assume the title, maybe there's something, initially, that's a part of the on-boarding. But there is no continuous people development. And leadership development and expertise in a space are two completely different skillsets.
It takes a specific skill to be able to bring the best out of other people, and that's what we're getting at. When we talk about those engagement statistics, people— leaders are the cultivators of the culture.
So if you are not investing, as an organization, in the people that are leading that six out of 10, then you're going to continue to let money fly out the window and flush down the toilet. So it is, absolutely, a huge problem that has grown with the pandemic.
And, so, I think, it's interesting because when I started Career Thrivers, we were heavily positioned on generational diversity. And, so, the big statistic was that because the numbers, within the millennial demographic, were just astounding when it came to lack of engagement.
I think, today, being on the other side of a global shutdown and pandemic, companies are at least thinking about that more and thinking about ways to address it. Certainly, there's a lot more work to be done in the space, but, yes, it's a problem, for sure.
Lauren: I love to see you light up as you talk about that. Because you are doing what you're supposed to do, Brittany.
Brittany: Thank you.
Lauren: You are. You are doing it and I just believe, wholeheartedly, as more and more women step into like, "Hey, I don't know what this is going to look like, but I feel really passionate about X, Y, Z. So if I just be bold enough to pursue that passion, that's where we start seeing change.
Brittany: Oh, yes.
Lauren: That's where you start generational change. When one person says, "I get the playbook that everyone's tried to put on me, there's something bigger, yet, for me." And I look at you and I see that, so thank you for coming and showing up as your authentic self today.
Brittany: Thank you.
Lauren: Like you're a Boss B way, I love it.
Brittany: Thank you for having me. It is always great.
[00:57:47] < Outro >
Lauren: Okay, I am convinced, Brittany Cole and I could solve the world's problems, if we sat in a room long enough, I just know it. She is so full of knowledge. She's so passionate about the work she's doing to equip leaders. She is a change maker, for sure, and I encourage you to think about the lesson this week—Where are you sabotaging yourself by thinking you don't belong somewhere or that you're not ready for the challenge?
Do what Brittany was talking about, don't draw on confidence here, draw on courage. That you are in the exact moment, you've been called to, and you just have to step into it. All the things you've been working on, the ideas you've been growing, they have led you here and you are ready. This is what it means to live life on purpose, Brittany is doing it and you can too.
Next week is a fascinating episode. One that's totally singular in its topic and leading up to it, I want you to think about who or what has been your greatest teacher.
Next week's guest says, death has been her teacher. It's an incredible weaving of grief, and laws, and how growing up working in her family's funeral home business influenced her reverence for life. It's a thoughtful and thought-provoking conversation to really look forward to, next week. For now, I encourage you shine your light, lead with your heart, and live life purposefully.
I'm Lauren Lowrey and this is AMPstigator.
[00:59:12] < Music >
