12th July 2022 AMPstigator Ep. 27 Amanda Banks – The Believer
[00:00:00] < Intro >
Lauren: Amanda Banks is very aware of how her childhood shaped her life. She was a competitive child gymnast and really felt the pressures of being perfect. Performing to someone else's standards at a very young age. But when the deadly March 3rd tornado came through Nashville in 2020, it destroyed her daughter's school, and that, combined with COVID, forced a new situation that really shoved Amanda into entrepreneurship.
But all along, people have believed in her, and the new company she created in the process is helping former athletes transition out of sports and into the real world, and she's turned that belief around and now she shares it with others. This is Amanda Banks, The Believer.
[00:00:50] < Music >
Lauren: Okay, let's start with a little game I like to play, are you ready?
Amanda: Yes.
Lauren: I call it best time, worst time is just basically meant to help people connect to you and understand the road that you've taken already to get to this place. So let's start with the best time in your life, when was that time?
Amanda: So the best time was when we allowed our daughter to homeschool. So we made the transition for her from being in school during COVID. My husband and I made the decision to transition her over to homeschooling and that was the best time in my life. Because I got to develop that relationship with her and better understand just who she was as a human, and experience that with her.
Lauren: Yeah, it's interesting, I feel like so many parents talk about that time, the beginning of lock down as being a time that was incredibly difficult. But it does remind me that there is some beauty in that for some families. Some people do find it as a wonderful time. So like you transitioned to homeschooling and it was a great thing for you guys, which is awesome.
Amanda: It was tough, it wasn't all like unicorns and rainbows. But making that decision and then experiencing that, and having that time with her, and being blessed enough to get to know her and to see what she has been going through and educating her. It was just such an amazing experience.
Lauren: Well, okay, so, conversely, when was the worst time in your life?
Amanda: So I remember the worst time in my life. So as a young kid, my parents went through a really rough divorce. And my dad had shown up and taken all the furniture from the house while we were gone. So when I walked into the house, as a young kid, all of that wasn't there.
And, so, it was really a moment in my life when I knew how precious family was, time was, and how quick that can all change.
Lauren: Did you understand it at the time? Because you were young.
Amanda: I didn't really understand it, but I just understood the magnitude that life was change.
Lauren: Mh-hmm. Yes, and I know how that impacted you as an athlete, which we'll get into here in your episode. But let's keep in the game, huh? When was the time that was a great moment of clarity for you in your life?
Amanda: So when we were homeschooling her. So I really got to see life through the lens of her and throughout her process and what she was being exposed to and the education that she was receiving. But I also started thinking through purpose. I was working a full-time job when we did that, then it dropped down to part-time, and then it hit me, I was like, "I'm not supposed to be doing this."
So going through that journey as well, personally, not just as homeschooling her but also experiencing it myself of making that transition. From having a successful career over to the next phase, which was entrepreneurship for me.
Lauren: Did it help you evaluate what mattered to you?
Amanda: Oh, absolutely, yes.
Lauren: Isn't that interesting how transitions can sometimes do that, right? They force you to look differently at things, give you a different perspective, I think. When was a turning point for you in your life? Where you said, "Wow, everything changed after this moment."
Amanda: That tornado hitting.
Lauren: Yes, so March 3rd, 2020 was a turning point for you, but not for the reason that a lot of people might think. A lot of people might think that loss in loss of property, or loss of life, but it didn't impact you in that way. So tell me more about how it impacted you?
Amanda: I mean, it took me back to that childhood moment of just realizing how sensitive life can be, and being so blessed that nobody was in that building when that happened. But looking at the building and seeing the entire elementary school wing being flattened, and seeing how the story could have been much different.
Lauren: Right.
Amanda: And, so, yes, there was a lot of loss, but there was also a lot of hope. Just watching everybody come together, and watching her processing it as well. I mean, there was a lot of loss to it, but it was also pretty inspirational.
Lauren: Yes, oh, I agree. Well, it was an interesting time in Nashville, too. We had that deadly March 3rd, 2020 tornado and then within a week we had our first confirmed case of COVID, and then lockdown started within another week. And, yes, I mean, you and other communities that were also dealing with major loss of property, were dealing with twin issues at the same time.
That loss plus, "Wow, okay, what's going on in the world with this pandemic?" I mean, everything changed at that point. What about something in your nature that you've had to overcome? Is there something that you're like, "Golly, I've finally overcome." Or that you continue to overcome that you're always working on?
Amanda: So it's the fear of cameras.
Lauren: Really?
Amanda: It is I'm terrified, like, absolutely terrified.
Lauren: You're doing great.
Amanda: Thanks. well, so this stems from me being a gymnast and that is around perfectionism. So your whole life is that of perfectionism. And, so, when you go into the real world, which I did at a really young age, I always put a lot of pressure on myself around perfectionism.
So to me, cameras, and film, and media, that all represents what we typically see because of social media, because of all of the filters is perfectionism. So, I'll never forget it, I went into college and I had to do a public speaking course, and for an entire week I just sweated the entire thing. And I will never forget, I was talking on gymnastics, which is a super passion of mine, this shouldn't be a problem. But I walked up to the lectern and I just cried in the middle of my college course, this was terrifying.
But it wasn't, necessarily, just the public speaking. It was all of that coming back of the perfectionism, and me trying to control the whole scenario. And, so, that's a huge obstacle, still for me today, I had to overcome that.
Being an entrepreneur, a lot of it is about exposure, and about sharing your story, and about connecting with the right people. And when we made that decision, I knew that I was going to have to do a lot more public speaking, and being forward-facing. And I got a unique opportunity to do quite a bit of media in June of 2021, and my husband looked at me and I said, "Look, this is the opportunity that I have." And he said, "I believe in you." He said those four words. And I said, "Okay." And that was the turning point for me because I was so immersed in the situation that I really had to let that go. And I had to figure out a way to just be okay with being on camera, being on film, sharing my story.
Since then, I've been able to do Sports to Suits Live and share my story, and highlight other former athletes. But that is a major obstacle even to this day. And, quite, frankly, I think, a lot of people have a big fear around that, about public speaking, and sharing their story.
Lauren: Oh, they totally do. I married someone like that. So a lot of times we'll marry someone who's stronger in the things that we're weak and vice versa. My husband is terrified of speaking in public, he never wants the spotlight. Certainly, don't do it because he's terrified of it. Truly terrified.
But I want to dig into this idea of perfectionism. I think it plagues a lot of people and let's start in where the inception was for you. Because it's so clear to me, as someone who just appreciates gymnastics, someone who just looks at it and says, "Wow, that's beautiful, I'm sure they worked very hard to get there."
But you from a very young age were an accomplished, elite gymnast. Well, maybe, in your mind, not, well, very accomplished, how about that? You were a very accomplished gymnast to the point that I'm sure it controlled your life to some degree. And then there were things that you picked up, so like this need to be perfect. So let's talk about where it all started for you and why things needed to be perfect?
Amanda: Well, that's a sport of gymnastics. You're always trying to achieve the perfect 10 and from a coaching perspective, it's very hyper-critical. So I coach one day a week, just out of passion, and you're always trying to get that body positioning accurate. Everything is based around it, it has to be perfect for you to score that 10.
And, so, as a young kid, I started gymnastics around six and thrived in the sport, and stayed till around 13-ish. And that whole time in my life was around perfectionism, and about body positioning, and how can you get the perfect score? And when you compete against other people, it has to be perfect or you'll lose. And, so, that was just a deep-rooted thing that was conditioned to me over hours, and hours, and hours in the gym.
Lauren: And how did that begin to influence you even after 13? Because 13, I mean, I'm thinking from my own experience here. First of all, what a terrible time, I hated being 13. 11, 12, 13, terrible time, you don't understand your body. Everything about that whole experience is awkward socially, and you left a sport that you loved in the middle of those years. But you kept some of the perfectionism in through those years, help me understand how that impacted you at that time?
Amanda: I think it's something I still struggle with. So with gymnastics, I absolutely love this sport. I became a very high-level, competitive gymnast at 10 years old, super young, and I started getting burned out.
So in gymnastics, kids peak really young, typically, if they are super high levels and that is a lot of dedication and effort. Multiple hours a day in the gym, six days a week. And, so, for me, it was an escape from home, which is why I thrived so well.
There was a lot of chaos going on at home. And on the outside looking in, we were this perfect, beautiful, American family. But behind the scenes, it was a little bit of a hot mess. So I was able to go into the gym and pour everything into it. And, so, even though that was that level of perfection, it was also an escape mechanism for me.
So when some of the things started happening and my parents started going through this divorce, that's when I got so burned out and I was like, "I'm done." But then you start, and as an athlete, I talk to a lot of athletes you have this identification of being that of an athlete. Your dinner table conversations are, "When is practice?"
"What's the leotard going to be?"
"Do you have clean stuff?" All of those things.
And, so, when you leave that sport, your friend group is in the sport, you're trying to process that. So going through the transition of teenage years is a challenge, I see it getting ready to happen with my daughter. But trying to battle all of those things internally with perfectionism, and then carrying that into a trying time period I struggled. I went to drugs and alcohol, and you name it because I was trying to figure out what life and purpose looked like outside of this sport.
Lauren: Well, and I see this, too, with people who have a real identity crisis after they leave something. And, oftentimes, it becomes like, "Oh, I'm so and so, I'm a former whatever." Like whatever the highest title was, "I'm a former such and such athlete." And that's like the lead-in label that they give. I almost wonder what your take is on that? When somebody introduces themselves as that, that gets top billing. Should that get top billing or should the current thing be? Like, "I'm a speaker."
Or "I'm an entrepreneur." Before "I'm the former athlete." Or former, I don't know, elite-level somebody.
Amanda: I mean, as moms, we do this. I'm a mom. And, so, I think that it's hard. Because you identify as you're told, "This is where you're getting recognition." Or all of these things. But the reality is we need to start thinking through who are you truly while you're in this sport, as a human, prior to that transition happening. And, quite, frankly, I dealt with it a little bit as going from having a very successful corporate career into entrepreneurship. Because I was told this is what I needed to do to be successful in life.
Lauren: Mm. Yes, and how much of your actions were based on what other people were telling you to do? Was it everything?
Amanda: Pretty much. I mean, because, for me, I grew up in a very small town here in Tennessee and I wasn't exposed to a lot of big-time thinking.
And, so, what I was exposed to over the years, I thought I needed to, from what I had in my career, was go into a good-paying corporate job, where you'll make great money, and once you hit this financial tier you'll be happy, and all will be amazing.
I think that from a societal perspective, we're told we need to do these things, so we chase the dream per se. But then I had that moment of, "What am I doing?"
"What am I doing here?" And I had the blessing and the curse, that moment where we had to look at, "Oh, my gosh." Now as I'm having to step in full-time mom, full-time, homeschooling mom. So where do I go and how do I leverage my purpose and my gifts to, actually, make substantial impact versus trying to chase what I've been told to chase my entire life?
Lauren: Right. Oh, I love this, and I think this is a real deep and rich vein for a lot of people, especially moms, and especially in the last couple of years that we've had. Because, I mean, yes, there was so much tragedy with COVID, but there was so much purpose tapping during that time.
Everything got stripped away, certainly in 2020 in lockdown, when all the calendars were cleared. No one was going anywhere, everyone was afraid for their lives. So there was a lot of reevaluation and recalibration, too, of what should we be doing? Where do we need to be? And I'm interested in what you landed on.
Because you decided to leave a successful corporate career and create what it was that is going to make an impact and make change, and that's where Sports to Suits came from, which is incredible. So walk us through what it is that you've created.
Amanda: So we've been having a lot... so I'll take it back a little bit. So when we jumped into entrepreneurship we launched DeBanks, which is basically my business partner and I's blueprint to launch our consulting firm. And, so, it just allows us to connect with amazing people and do mission and impact-focus work. And, so, research work and really looking at things from, "What are the projects that we want to work on? And what are the things that we want to do?"
Versus, "What do we have to do?" Because we both went from corporate to entrepreneurship and organically, we started having so many conversations with athletes. Because I started-
Lauren: How? Why athletes? Do you think you attracted them?
Amanda: Yes.
Lauren: Okay.
Amanda: Very much so. And as a connector, I'm connected to a lot of different networks. And the athletic community tends to be very reserved or almost a lot of people have taken advantage of the community. And, so, that's a very tight-knit community, rightfully so.
And, so, I just started getting connected to some of the people that saw what we were doing and where our hearts were, and how we were really trying to help make a substantial impact. Not just in the lives of other people, but from a community-based perspective.
So as we continued to having these conversations, I mean, they just kept coming up and we started, organically, helping athletes connect to resources, and connect to opportunities. And, so, we went to the drawing board and said, "Okay, how can we create a sustainable, scalable solution that will help basically the athletic community as a whole?"
And, so, we started framing this up from scratch, and that started happening in about July of last year. So in July, I started Sports to Suits Live, and that is a live show that I do weekly. Where I highlight former athletes and I share their story about how they're seeing success in business, and how they've leveraged just the skills and background that they have as an athlete into their business world.
And, so, that show just keeps growing, and growing, and growing, and the impact just keeps getting bigger and bigger, and bigger. And, so, through that we've gone on to now create, we're building a technology solution and we are working on strategic partners, and scaling and bringing the right people on board, all through that organically.
Lauren: Yeah.
Amanda: And that, to me, so when I think about mission and purpose. When you're working in a lane that is just your lane things start to happen so organically and so beautifully, and the right people start getting connected.
Lauren: I love that you brought that up because I do think purpose is singular. No two people have the exact same thing and it's not going to be done in the exact same way. So the fact that you've had this realization of like, "This is mine. This is what I'm here to do."
I think it does sort of release something because you're no longer worried about scarcity when you take that on. Because when you're an athlete, there's so much competition. So to almost separate yourself from competition and go the opposite way, where you say "We don't even have to compete. We can actually work together to make something happen." Do you remember a point where that changed for you or has it just sort of been there-?
Amanda: It's evolved. It keeps growing, and growing, and growing, and growing. And, so, it went from us doing this manually with an athlete here or there, to now we've signed contracts with an entire league. And now we're working on development and all the incredible people are kind of coming together, so it's continuing to evolve.
Lauren: Yes, that's amazing. And the thing that I want to make sure I can wrap my mind around is like, you've taken something subjective, like, helping someone succeed after their playing days are over. But you're creating a framework around that. So help me understand the kinds of things that you're helping athletes do after they leave their sport?
Amanda: So that's where my corporate career came into play. So I have a pretty strong background in healthcare, but in technology and technology sales and pulling together all of these complicated technology solutions to create an outcomes-based solution specifically around patient care.
And, so, it's very similar. So my business partner is an economist, and has a background in workforce and economic development. So we, really truly, looked at, "What is our background?"
"What is our passion?"
"What are our paths?"
How can we pull the best of our worlds together to create a solution that drives substantial impact, at a greater scale than what we're currently able to do?
Lauren: Yes, tell me some of the things that you found from your own experience, but then also in the conversations you've had with athletes, of things that they just were having trouble with. The things they just didn't know that you're trying to rectify.
Amanda: So a lot of it is the identity piece, so that's a big challenge. I think everybody struggles with that personally a little bit.
Lauren: Yes, like, "Who I am outside of this?"
Amanda: Yes.
Lauren: Okay.
Amanda: "Who I am outside of this?" Whether it's a sport. Whether it's, "Who I am outside of being a mom and a wife." Or "Who I am out of being this corporate employee?" There's a lot of that transition that has to happen, but since it's so strong in the athletic community it's definitely a big piece to it.
I will also say mental and physical well-being is so critical. And I'll say this from a woman's perspective, put a lot of pressure on my body and how I take care of my body, but it is so different of that when you're in your sport.
Lauren: How?
Amanda: So, for me, I was working out multiple hours a day, multiple days a week for years. And even though I was super young, I was very fit, and I was working out a lot. And so, when I went out of this sport, the last thing I wanted to do was work out, period. That's the last thing I wanted to do. And, so, making that transition, I just remember gaining so much weight.
I mean, you're developing as a young lady and, so, you're already putting that weight on. But even now I work out, but I will never be able to work out at that caliber.
And, so, I look at a lot of athletes and they struggle with body issues, or they struggle with gaining a lot of weight once they're out of the sport. And that's something a lot of people just don't want to talk about. It's very insecurity driven, as well, but it's something that is a huge challenge.
Lauren: Do you think that's someone admitting defeat when they say it. Like a former athlete, when they say "I need help." Is that defeat? Where do you think that comes from? Like if someone admits, "Wow, I can't figure this out on my own, I need help." Is that defeat or is that out of self-love? Where does that come from?
Amanda: I think it's defeat. So, I think, athletes are provided, basically, especially when you get to an elite level athlete, everything is curated for you.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Amanda: Your day is curated for you. I have a son that is a college baseball player, a stepson, that is a college baseball player right now. And we were talking about even his nutrition is curated for him. And, so, going from having that extreme level of structure, and then translating that into a capacity of being a normal human being, that's a massive jump. It's huge.
Lauren: Everything is done for you when you're a collegiate level or a professional level athlete, everything is done for you, I mean, down to your healthcare, your medicine, it's all like concierge-style, it's all done. And in the real world, I mean, we know that it ain't getting done if you don't do it yourself. So how do we bridge that? How do you bridge that? How does Sports to Suits bridge that, and is it conversations while they're still playing?
Amanda: Yes. I mean, I think that there needs to be a complete educational program, specifically, around some of these components that we're talking about, and that's part of the piece that we're developing. But also a sense of community and team, that is one of the things that I really was challenged with. So as a young kid you go out and you play with your friends, and I had one kid down the street that I would play with, but all of my friends were that of my team.
Lauren: That group, yes.
Amanda: And, so, when you go from that, a lot of the players don't leave exactly at the same time. And, so, you're trying to figure out, "Who is my team outside of the sport." So it's not just education and awareness, but it's also that sense of team and community, and then getting connected to good quality opportunities that make sense. From an aptitude standpoint of, "What's my skillset of that me just being a human, as well as my educational background, and how do I bridge that?"
Lauren: Just even listening to you and hearing this, as a mom, I think, about my own kids and how when in our society, when you have a child that's, really, good at a sport. We tend to push them more and more like a funnel into that sport. But it almost feels like hearing from you saying almost, "Let a child be a child. Let them have other friend groups." It's important that we spread the love here so that they can have some full development in this.
Amanda: Well, yes. So this is a hot topic because I'm a mom and my daughter plays soccer, and my stepson plays baseball, so I have to remember that as well. And from a parent perspective, let them explore. That is the one massive thing that we did with Aaliyah when she homeschooled because everything is so regimented in a traditional school.
And, so, we had to provide her with the math curriculum, and the spelling, and all of that stuff. But we also asked her, "What do you want to learn about?" And, so, we were able to connect her to marine biology and some of these other things that are just not things that she typically would've been exposed to. So I think about that and I think about how powerful that exposure is, and getting connected to those resources.
Lauren: Yes, I want to get back to this idea of perfectionism that you've had to overcome so much and had to struggle with. Because I do think it affects a lot of us to a certain degree. It's difficult because a lot of people, I think, achieve really great things through that, that need, that drive. And, so, on one hand, perfectionism can drive us to really do some extraordinary things, but then maybe left unchecked it can be what completely makes you self-destruct.
So at what point, in your life, did you realize, "I've got to harness this otherwise this is going to be a really bad thing." Was it the point that you got invited to that show or had you already started to deal with yourself with perfectionism before that?
Amanda: So I think that I've had to deal with it in multiple different stages in my life. When I was going through some of the challenges of being a teenager, and doing drugs and alcohol and being around the wrong crowd. I came to this realization, like, "This is not me. This is not who I am." And I think perfectionism stems, a lot, from us comparing ourselves to something else.
So that level or that 10, I'm trying to get to that 10. So I'm comparing myself against not getting the 10 and feeling lesser of that. And, so, I had to stop comparing myself to other people or other things, and then start thinking through, "What do I want to do?" And that's changed a couple of times just based on my own personal connectedness and getting connected to who my being is, and that will continue to grow. But it's stopping to compare yourself against other things and other people, that's where, in my opinion, perfectionism stems.
Lauren: Yeah. And it's interesting that you're saying connecting back because I do see you as someone who connects people, and we haven't been able to talk about this, yet, in this episode.
But something that I know about you is your amazing ability to connect with people, but then also to connect others. And I want to know where that comes from, for you, why connect with people and why connect others with people who can help them? Why do you do that?
Amanda: So it stems from me pulling the pieces together. So connecting something is pulling things together with integrity and having a strong bond there. So when I was going through the whole hot mess express, I pulled myself together and became connected here, and then I started getting connected by other people. So opening the doors, connecting me to new opportunities, giving me an opportunity to do something different and thrive.
So it really stemmed from this whole concept of, I was able to connect myself, get myself back together. And then I saw how other people throughout all of these different phases of my life have opened doors for me. And, so, I feel like now that I'm on mission and purpose, it is my responsibility to do that for other people too.
Lauren: Yes.
Amanda: It's how can I connect them to help them serve their mission and their purpose, and how can I open doors for them?
Lauren: Do you think that is your purpose to be a connector, or do you think your purpose is something else right now?
Amanda: I think my purpose is to open doors for other people. I think it's twofold, we are on this mission in this and we need connections and resources. However, we're on this beautiful path and we've gotten so many incredible opportunities, that is also our responsibility to open the door for other amazing people.
Lauren: Yeah.
Amanda: And, so, I think it's maybe even open doors. It is my responsibility to connect people to needed resources, that's the mission and the purpose. But a little bit deeper is to open doors for other people, and give other people the opportunities that if somebody wouldn't have given to me, I wouldn't be where I'm at today.
Lauren: When did you realize that? When was the moment and was that a moment that you remember, or was that the evolution too?
Amanda: It was the evolution. So it's the evolution of we all have different paths and we all grow, and, for me, it's exposure, it's getting exposed to new things. And, so, I just remember and this goes back to gymnastics even as well. I remember somebody looking at me, and I'm doing a TEDx about this soon, is the power of the four words. Is somebody looking at me and saying, "I believe in you." And I remember even that young, "If somebody is saying this, then that means I need to focus on it." It means that's a gift, but it's my responsibility to do something with it.
Lauren: Yeah, and how do you do something with it?
Amanda: Follow the path.
Lauren: I think there's an interesting level of curiosity that has to go along with finding, discovering, charting the path you're supposed to be on. I know, for myself as an adult, I feel like it might have even just been last year when I realized, "Oh, it's, actually, my responsibility to be curious. It's my responsibility to find what it is that's going to make me happy. I have to figure that out. I have to make that, I have to chart the course and no one else is going to do it for me."
And I almost wonder if that's part of the real struggle as an athlete leaves professional life, or just a college athlete where someone is living this curated life and they say, "Oh, crap, it is on me." And this moment of like, "Oh, I got to take this seriously what now? Where do I start?" And do you feel like you felt those emotions and that's why you wanted to help athletes specifically?
Amanda: Yeah, and, so, when we were homeschooling Aaliyah, I just remember, and curiosity is an interesting thing. Because I remember when we exposed her, not just to the math, and the English, and the spelling because we did that at first we thought, "Okay, we're going to build exactly what she would have in school, and it's going to be amazing."
And I just remember that, that wasn't working. It wasn't working from a dynamic perspective and, so, we started incorporating all of these different elements of fun and I saw her experience curiosity. And it dawned on me that I'm going through the motions and the steps, but I'm not following what I'm actually curious and I'm actually passionate about.
And, so, it's through the lens of watching her go through that and experience. And I see it in kids, it kind of lessens when you get in high school and college, but they'll ask so many questions and they're curious about a lot of different things and there's no hesitation around that.
Lauren: Yeah.
Amanda: And, I think, that kind of gets stripped away because we're told, "You need to be on this path. This is what success looks like." And, so, we're constantly going through this path and we're going through the motions. But once we started getting curious about, "Well what in my background, how did I get to where I am today? Why? Who came across my path that completely changed this for me? And how can I change maybe even the path of somebody else?"
Lauren: Yeah, I think, it's interesting because it's easy to make the connection of where an athlete would need to make that transition and learn what's next. Be curious and learn what's next. But for the vast majority of adults, I think, we deal with this too. Where we go and execute, and follow a path that isn't ours, based on maybe it's what our parents wanted us to do or what we decided would be valued.
"Oh, it's going to be valuable if you attain this higher degree or you're more marketable with this skill." And, so, we begin to pursue things that we have no interest in at all until the point we wake up one day and we go, "What the heck have I done? I've done what everyone said, why am I not happy?" I feel like the kinds of things you're doing transcend one sport or one segment of the population.
Amanda: They do. For us, we know that this community is asking for resources.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Amanda: That there are substantial concerns going on and athletes are now speaking out about it, which is powerful. And, so, it's, how can we create resources that make substantial impact and change in this community, but how can we create an ecosystem that could potentially help others in the future in other capacities?
And, so, for us, it's we know, like I personally know, I remember walking up to my coach and saying, "I'm going to quit." I remember that. I remember the feeling of having to tell them that and then walk my family up with me because it's a family decision, that "I'm going to quit." And what it felt like and then even going into those corporate roles and feeling like a failure or like I need to quit or I need to make that transition.
But I feel like a lot of people don't make the transition over to entrepreneurship, one, because of resources. But, two, because of that fear of failure and wanting something to be perfect.
Lauren: Yeah, we can't control that. Did you get to a point where you said, "Wow, I can't stay in this situation any longer." Similar to the way that gymnastics ended for you. Did that same sort of situation happen for you as an adult? Where you said, "This can't stay the way it is." The pain of staying is greater than the pain of going. Did you have that kind of reckoning?
Amanda: Yeah, I mean, I've worked for some organizations that were pretty toxic. And, so, in my gut, I knew that this was a learning opportunity. I do believe that we do have to learn and we have to be always curious about educating ourselves, and learning, and growing. And you do have to take steps to get from point A to point B.
But I remember walking into specifically some of the roles that I've been in, and I'm like, "This is not for me, but what can I learn from this experience and how much can I soak in, so that I'll be ready for the next journey?"
So before I went into entrepreneurship, I knew that I wanted to go into entrepreneurship. But this one leader showed me what it was like to lead an organization with joy and kindness, and putting employees first. And he did it in such a beautiful way that it inspired me to know that business doesn't have to be this way.
Lauren: Hmm.
Amanda: And you can lead with the same heart that I have and be an amazing leader, and have a successful business. And, so, that tragedy of the school getting hit was just that moment of really thinking through, "Is this my time?"
Lauren: Hmm.
Amanda: "Is this my time?"
Lauren: Yeah, and obviously the answer was, yes,
Amanda: It was.
Lauren: I wonder, you are around a lot of entrepreneurs all the time. And, so, I realized that by asking the question I'm about to ask you, it's going to be through that lens. But do you feel like more people are choosing to take the leap now into entrepreneurship, into just charting their own course?
Amanda: I think so. But I think if more people had resources available to them, more people would.
Lauren: Is that financial?
Amanda: Yes, that's a big gap, I mean, that is a big, scary thing. And, so, having the ability to provide for your family, jumping into entrepreneurship you, typically, start with nothing.
Lauren: Yeah. You put a lot, hey, you put a lot out and get zero back maybe for a while, but it's the seed planting, right?
Amanda: It is. It's the seed planting. So, yes, I see a lot of people making that transition and really thinking through, "I've been doing this career for so long, is this my path? Is this my purpose?" But actually making that leap, I think more people would make it if they had access to the resources. Which is why I'm so passionate about connecting other people, to not, necessarily, the funding, but it's connecting people to other people that can help further their mission and path.
Lauren: Yeah. I got to tell you the first time I met you, I don't know if it was last year, the dates get jumbled. But, anyway, the first time I met you, and we met, you said something to me I don't ever remember hearing anyone say in my whole life. But you are so avid about helping people and I've never seen someone do that.
This is what's incredible, to me, about you, you are in a stage of full-on creation mode. You are creating. You have every right to say, "I need, right now, I need." But instead, you pour into people, and you say, as you did to me, I only assume you say it to everyone because you're just so avid about it. "How can I help you?"
"What do you need?"
"What can I do for you right now?"
And I remember being taken so back by that because I could feel your authenticity in that. I could feel how genuine you were in that. But it, also, was this amazing example, for me, of what it looks like to care about people, and connect with people, and truly be there because I think that's the best seed you can plant.
Amanda: Thank you.
Lauren: I made you cry.
Amanda: Yes, you made me cry.
Lauren: But I believe it about you, though, because those are the types of seeds that grow beautiful friendships, and beautiful businesses, and change. That's a seed, that plants that grows change, and you're doing it through service. Which, I think, is just a real hallmark of purpose is when somebody acts from a place of service and you're doing that.
You're seeing this problem that you're trying to fix, and you're doing it one by one, by one, certainly, creating this big framework that's going to help athletes all over the world. But you're doing it on such a beautiful grassroots level, it's just so impactful.
Amanda: Well, I mean, I think a lot of people look at things from a big picture and we have to look at things from a big picture perspective. But the reality is, is we all have needs, all of us. Every single human in this world has a need. And, so, if we can help facilitate that for just one person at a time, then that person will continue to grow the ecosystem. Because we'll be able to grow and help other people.
But, for us, it's, "How can I impact the life of this person that I'm in contact with right now?"
"In this conversation, what can I do to maybe even change the mindsets so that you go and follow your dreams?"
Because I've had that, I've had people pour into me and I'm here because of that, I'm crying.
Lauren: Well, I mean, it's beautiful because it's so deep. Like there was this point where your life and path changed because of the people who were in it. People encouraged you and believed in you, and you said, "Ah, that made such a difference on me. I'm going to make sure I pay that forward and do that for other people." And it does make a difference.
Amanda: Well, it does. But it, also, I think through all of the successes that I've had are all, because somebody looks at me and says, "I believe in you." And if somebody wouldn't have said that, where would I be?
Lauren: Yeah, and, now, you're being that person for other people. Do you know that you're that person? Are you actively trying to be that person for others?
Amanda: I think it's become intuitive. It's just now that I'm going down this mission and passion-driven field that, that's what's coming out.
Lauren: Yeah, what would the world be like if just a few people here and there just a few more said, "I should do that." Like, "I need to act on what I feel and act on passion, act on love, and service, and encouragement." I mean, that's just like the ultimate encouragement when someone says, "I believe in you."
Amanda: I mean, obviously, the world would be a better place. But, I think, it's providing people the resources to actually plant that seed so that they feel comfortable in doing so themselves. This is a hard journey. It is a hard, challenging journey, but we have people like myself that I pour into them, but then they pour into me.
Lauren: Yeah.
Amanda: And, so, we're on the journey together. We're a team, so there, for me, it's, "How can you create a team of people?" If it's a three-person team, a 20-person team, but that you're not just working against each other, that you're elevating each other as a team, and you're supporting each other. Because the reality is we all have difficult moments where we want to contract and we want to say, "You know what, I can go back into that corporate career. Fine. Here we go, I'm done. It's done."
Lauren: "I'm going to go back to health insurance and a steady paycheck."
Amanda: Well, but there's also a lot of people that believe in what we're doing. That are helping us, but that we also believe in the mission and the impact that they're making.
Lauren: Yeah.
Amanda: I'm here with you and you are doing amazing mission and impact-focus work. And you've had to make some leaps and overcome maybe some challenges or fears to get there.
Lauren: True that.
Amanda: But I'm totally in your corner and cheering you on all the time, but that's what it's about. I feel like I've seen so much toxicity in business, so much of it and people just trying to step on each other's toes, or steal ideas, or whatever. And I'm just like, "That's not the game that this world is meant to play."
Lauren: Yeah, we don't have to be in contest with each other, right?
Amanda: We don't. And it's actually a much more beautiful game to be around people where you're helping elevate them and they're doing the same for you.
Lauren: Yeah, it's almost like operating from a place of, "Yes". Like, "Can I do this?"
"Yes, let's try it." Because it almost like it sets you up for success at that point, too, because you're like, "Hey, let's go, what's possible today?"
"I don't know, but we're going to go for it."
Amanda: So I'll tell you a funny story about this. So over the summer, I've got an amazing friend that does some work with Forbes and media. And we were talking to each other and I was asking, "What are you doing?"
Like, "What do you have going on? How can I help support you? "And he said, "Well, I'm going to Portugal."
And I just said, "Well, thanks for the invite, man."
And he said, "Well, I've got an extra ticket."
I was like, "Well, when is it?"
And he was like, "Next week."
Lauren: Sure.
Amanda: I had never been out of the country.
Lauren: And this was last year?
Amanda: This was last year.
Lauren: Wow.
Amanda: I had never been out of the country, granted. I did do some cruises, but that, to me, is not like getting on a plane, flying in the middle to Portugal, and trying to navigate that. And I went to my husband and I just said, "I've got to go to Portugal."
I didn't know very much about what we were doing. I just knew and had so much trust in this person that if he's inviting me, and he thinks that I can bring value, and he can see value in what we're doing, I'm getting on that plane. And I did that and I met with some of the world's most elite business people.
But it was that exposure and it was that opportunity, and that ability to just say, "You know what, intuition wise, this is what I need to do. And this is the opportunity that's presenting itself and let's just do it."
Lauren: Yeah, and I'm getting, like, when I listen to your stories. I get a lot of like, there's this moment where you have to stop thinking with your head and really start thinking with your heart, and allowing this to be like heart-led, heart-centered leadership. And I do think that starts with self, you can't lead people unless you're leading yourself in that way, don't you think?
Amanda: There's a lot of self-work that has to be done. And that was the process that I went through with my daughter, as well. That is a very big, heavy topic not just for a kiddo, but for your entire family, it changes the dynamics. And, so, I just had this ability to watch her go through it, and then I kind of had to start processing these things. And you know we could have done the easy thing and probably just said, "We're just going to keep working and keep doing what we're doing." But just something didn't feel right. I was like, "I know that this is the path I need to take." And I had the support system that said, "You know what we believe in you, just do it."
Lauren: Yeah, it's interesting, because I started this podcast so that the conversations would reach the people who needed to hear them. So, I mean, I'm just very confident that if someone needs to hear what you've got to say they're going to find their way there. I just have to believe that because that's what motivates me. So if there's someone who hears this and they're thinking, "Golly, there's a lot in my life right now that just doesn't seem to work." What's step one in that?
Amanda: Why does it not seem to be working? What's the root of that? And, so, I knew it wasn't working because I was just going through the motions. But I had to ask myself, "Why?"
"Why is this not working? And I've got all of these amazing, beautiful things, it's such a blessing to me. But why am I still not fulfilled?"
Lauren: Right.
Amanda: "Why?" And, so, it's really asking, doing, and really diving deep into— WHY.
Lauren: I have asked myself that question and in some ways it made me feel ungrateful. I had to personally come to terms with that, like, asking, "Why I'm not happy with something does not equate to being ungrateful." Did you feel that?
Amanda: Yeah. I think there's a lot of shame, to some degree in that, especially as a mom
Lauren: Mm-hmm, right, because it should be the pinnacle of happiness.
Amanda: It should be the pinnacle of happiness. "I've got a career, I've got this beautiful family." And it's like, why? And, to me, I wasn't able to impact. I saw the impact that I could make in her life by exposing her to things and I watched my husband and just how he jumped in and would help expose her to new and exciting things. And I just watched how critical that was, and thinking through it's about, for me, I got exposed to amazing people, coincidentally at times.
Lauren: No, I don't think it's a coincidence. I believe they were probably put in your path and you were just astute enough to recognize that there was a gift there. That person was a gift to you.
Amanda: You just said something so critical. I think so many times people are so reluctant to just say, "Yes," with things. That is one thing that I've really had to think through is being courageous about just saying yes in certain circumstances.
Lauren: Yeah, that's good.
Amanda: Is just saying yes. Is if this person, the Portugal trip, I trust this person.
Lauren: And clearly your husband does too.
Amanda: My husband, well, we went with a group. But if this person is coming to me with this opportunity, "Why?" And what can I do to deliver so much value as part of this process? And part of that value is me learning.
Lauren: And being willing to learn.
Amanda: Being willing to learn, but also being a little uncomfortable in the process.
Lauren: Probably a lot uncomfortable maybe being uncomfortable has become status quo for you, now, because you're putting yourself in so many situations. Putting yourself in front of cameras when you don't love it. Putting yourself on an international flight that you've never been on. I think those situations are necessary otherwise we do not grow, and we do not change. What's the point of life if there's not growth in the process?
Amanda: For anybody that is listening, I want people to be inspired by the fact of I was terrified of this whole process. Even now this process, we had to do an out-take because getting into it was just so daunting. There's a lot of people that have just such beautiful, inspirational stories, that need to be shared with other people.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Amanda: And it is okay to be imperfect in this scenario.
Lauren: Oh, my gosh, it's better than okay. We as millennials, Amanda, research shows over and over again that we want authenticity. We want to see the fault lines. There's a reason why you and I don't have on shoes right now because every single thing needs to not feel perfect.
I personally do not like things to feel too perfect, and every time I ask for a camera shot that looks imperfect it's on purpose. Because every one of those decisions, for me, is the reminder to me, that perfectly imperfect is the most beautiful that you can be.
Amanda: It is.
Lauren: Because that is how you were made. So like your desire for perfection, again, I think there is a give and take there, it is what is going to drive you to continue to go, and go. But you can't allow that to go unchecked to the point that it keeps you from the success that you're supposed to achieve.
Amanda: So the perfection thing, I'm going to go back to this-
Lauren: You're like, "Let me clarify?"
Amanda: ... so let me clarify this. So I almost wonder, and as you're talking I'm thinking through this. Is getting from point A to point B there is a level of perfect but is it the discipline that you're willing to go through?
Lauren: Hmm, there's a lot of discipline.
Amanda: And that's where pulling the athletes' side back into it. I saw so much success in business because I was able to pull back all of these incredible things that I did as an athlete, and translate it over to a business standpoint.
So the perfectionism is things that we put on ourselves. These unnecessary filters that are out there, and labels, and all of that good stuff. But I believe the reason that we're seeing success is because of the people that we've surrounded ourselves with, but also the level of discipline and grit that we're willing to go through.
Lauren: Mm-hmm, well, and I imagine that is part of your framework that you're building for athletes. Saying, "Here is what you already know how to do. You already know how to do this. You know how to work hard. You know how to grind all day. Let's turn that to something else, that is going to give you success in a different arena."
I mean, that's like the ultimate encouragement that helps someone build up and believe in themselves. Because along the way, they've had great coaches, who've believed in them.
You can't achieve amazing things with only being put down all the time, only being grounded to the dirt, along the way, there have to be people who say, "I believe in you. You're hustling, you're doing a great job, let's keep going, you can do it."
Amanda: Well, and it doesn't even have to be communicated. So, for example, I worked for an organization where I wasn't necessarily the most qualified person. But there was a manager that believed in me and believed that I could do the job, so gave me the opportunity. So it's those people, even behind the scenes, that believe in you or believe in what you're doing and don't necessarily communicate it. So that's from a connected standpoint, find those people.
Lauren: Oh, yeah.
Amanda: Find those people, and it could be one, or two, or three, but you never know what beautiful things are happening because people believe in what you're doing.
Lauren: Yeah, and I, from my own experience, have found that you can't attract those people until you become that person.
Amanda: It's so true.
Lauren: You have to become that person first, and then you start finding those people. So if someone is listening and they say, "Oh well I could never be that. I don't have anyone in my corner like that." Okay, well you got to be that, you have to be that person first.
Amanda: And you've said something so powerful. So everybody has a unique gift and people have asked me, "Well, how do you find your gift?" And you've got to do a lot of self-exploration around that.
Lauren: Oh, yes, on total self-work.
Amanda: And there is a core, I believe that you have a core gift, but things evolve over time.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Amanda: And there's beauty to that too.
Lauren: Right, yes, I love that. Amanda Banks, thanks for being here today.
Amanda: Thank you.
Lauren: Hugs, watch your head.
Amanda: I'm so appreciative of you.
Lauren: We've cried, we've laughed, we've talked.
Amanda: Done all the things.
Lauren: Done all the things.
So what'd you think? Tell me in the comments below, like it, share it with someone who needs to hear it. I'm adding new videos all the time to help you reconnect with self and then prepare for purpose. And since you're here, I've gone ahead and linked to my playlist the episode AMPlified. It gives shorter clips from each episode still though, very much power-packed with encouragement. It's all right here. So thanks for watching and I'll see you next time.
[00:56:54] < Outro >
